Values

One area that has changed over the past 4 1/2 years for me is my view of mental health — mainly, that I now hold a view.  As a strong advocate of mental health awareness and treatment I will write about it frequently here.

My Top 10 Values

My Top 10 Values

What I would like to share today is something that was born out of my own experience in a mental health care setting. I have worked with a number of psychologists, counselors and therapists over the course of the past five years — both good and bad.  Recently, I was presented with an opportunity to reflect on my personal values in a session.  An easy task you might say, however, it proved to be anything but.  It proved difficult for me in a number of ways.  First, I don’t believe that I had ever consciously sat down to think about what my values are.  Sure, we all have values, maybe we can name a few off the top of our head — family, friends, justice, etc.  But, what if you had to name your top 10?  It sounds easy enough. Now, imagine your friend or therapist hands you a stack of 50-75 cards with one value on each and asks you to sort them into three columns in order of importance to you.

Here is a sample list of common personal values (this is not the same list that I was given):

Accomplishment, SuccessAccountabilityAccuracy

Adventure

All for one & one for all

Beauty

Calm, quietude, peace

Challenge

Change

Charity

Cleanliness, orderliness

Collaboration

Commitment

Communication

Community

Competence

Competition

Concern for others

Connection

Content over form

Continuous improvement

Cooperation

Coordination

Creativity

Customer satisfaction

Decisiveness

Determination

Delight of being, joy

Democracy

Discipline

Discovery

Diversity

Dynamism

Ease of Use

Efficiency

Enjoyment

Equality

Excellence

Fairness

Faith

Faithfulness

Family

Family feeling

Flair

Freedom, Liberty

FriendshipFunGenerosity

Gentleness

Global view

Goodwill

Goodness

Gratitude

Hard work

Happiness

Harmony

Health

Honor

Human-centered

Improvement

Independence

Individuality

Inner peace, calm, quietude

Innovation

Integrity

Intelligence

Intensity

Justice

Kindness

Knowledge

Leadership

Love, Romance

Loyalty

Maximum utilization

(of time, resources)

Meaning

Merit

Money

Oneness

Openness

Other’s point of view, inputs

Patriotism

Peace, Non-violence

Perfection

Personal Growth

Perseverance

Pleasure

Power

Practicality

Preservation

PrivacyProgressProsperity, Wealth

Punctuality

Quality of work

Regularity

Reliability

Resourcefulness

Respect for others

Responsiveness

Results-oriented

Rule of Law

Safety

Satisfying others

Security

Self-givingness

Self-reliance

Self-thinking

Sensitivity

Service

(to others, society)

Simplicity

Skill

Solving Problems

Speed

Spirit, Spirituality in life

Stability

Standardization

Status

Strength

Succeed; A will to-

Success, Achievement

Systemization

Teamwork

Timeliness

Tolerance

Tradition

Tranquility

Trust

Truth

Unity

Variety

Well-being

Wisdom

From there, you are asked to order each column top-to-bottom in order of importance. Now, remove one column altogether.  Next, remove one more column.  With your last column, arrange your remaining values in order of importance.  You may pull some values from your discard pile if you have changed your mind.  Finally, reduce your column to 10 and now you should have your top 10 values.  After about 20 minutes, I had narrowed my own list to 10.  Here is my result:

My Top 10 Personal Values:

1. Purpose

2. Passion

3. Family

4. Spirituality

5. Ecology

6. Justice

7. Hope

8. Compassion

9. Humility

10. Genuineness

Of course these values are not static but dynamic for me.  Most likely these will remain in my top 10, but they may shift their order from time to time.  I keep  the list, as written by my therapist, on a sheet of notebook paper.  I review it several times a week.  In the review process, I am reflecting on the ways in which I held to my values, the times I may have strayed, and the times I felt conflicted in terms of my values.  This weekly reflection has helped to keep me grounded in my values, but also helped me to learn a great deal about myself and my interactions with others and the world around me.  I am better able to discern how my values influence my day-to-day activities, but I also can see where I need to improve my adherence to them.  In the conscious reflection upon my values I am able to make them more fully my own — it is a practice I will continue the rest of my life.

What are your top 10 values?  What is your value of the week?  What is your value of the day?

 

Return of the Blog

Nearly five years ago I posted my last entry.  To me, that seems like an eternity.  Since that time I have lived in 3 different states, worked 5 different jobs, completed a higher education degree and a chaplaincy internship and residency.  I am well-traveled now, to say the least.  Upon the completion of my Master’s thesis, I took a leave-of-absence from reading and writing every day.  In fact, those daily habits became a distant memory.  My current foray back into the blogosphere is not without purpose.  Not only did I experience some vast geography during my hiatus, but I experienced life itself in a multivalent manner.  It is those experiences that are the catalyst for my current writing.  I cannot keep inside that which has transpired in and around me these last few years.  My writing contains invigorated purpose, passion, poignancy and potential.

I will begin documenting and delivering detailed accounts of my new-found passions, interests, and past experiences, failures, successes, crises, heart-aches and love.  My writings will be more expansive than before.  Topics that I will discuss include, chaplaincy, pastoral care, psychology, psychotherapy, coaching (soccer), suicide, forgiveness, spiritual crisis, values, poetry, health care, trauma, medicine, surgery, death, suffering, bio-medical ethics, the problem of evil, politics, foreign policy, foreign affairs, and perhaps most notably — lament.  The broadening of the focus of this blog re-iterates the breadth of my experiences over the last 4 and 1/2 years.

In addition to more diverse posts, I will be expanding the content of the blog’s ancillary links.  For those that find the links helpful or take the time to read my posts, please feel free to comment and engage in discussion as I continue to share myself and my journey here.

Book of the Week

Throughout the course of my graduate studies I read an inordinate number of books, articles and essays regarding the human diet, agriculture and what we have come to know as the “food industry.”  Perhaps one of the most readable treatments of complex interrelated subjects comes from Michael Pollan.  His book, In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, navigates the narcissism of nutritionism succinctly.  In an over-saturated world of nutrition facts, ingredient lists, and marketing trends, Pollan comes to a simple solution.  His mantra, “eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”  The statement is perhaps as profound as it is simple.  Behind the concise phrase Pollan elaborates on just what food is in an industrialized food era.  Once one determines what food is, and what it is not, then choices need to be made about quality and quantity.  Pollan’s research pushes him toward a heavily plant based diet as his message clearly states.  If you are looking for a well-researched, lucidly written guide to relieve confusion and laborious hours of accumulated label reading, then Pollan’s manifesto is just the tool to empower you.

Book of the Week

On Tuesday, January 12, 2010, the shifting of tectonic plates along the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden Fault led to seismic activity registering 7.0 on the Richter scale and shaking the the island nation of Haiti.  Specifically, the capital city of Port-au-Prince, located just 10 miles from the earthquake’s epicenter, was shattered.  This event left unspeakable physical destruction in its wake, loss of human life and a nation in chaos.  As history well attests to, natural disasters of any magnitude lead to inevitable questions about faith and life.  More specifically, in religious circles, they lead to questions about God, God’s existence and presence.  Natural disasters are not the nascence of these questions but rather a catalyst to their intensification and urgency.  It is in this moment of intense urgency for answers that I offer the book of the week.

Gary Stern, a journalist for the Journal News (his blog can be found at LoHud),  recently interviewed a number of religious leaders across the spectrum of world religions to survey how each one specifically interpreted natural disasters and God’s role therein, if any.  He published his findings under the title, Can God Intervene? How Religion Explains Natural Disasters.  The most recent major natural disasters at the time of publication were Hurricane Katrina in 2005, and the Tsunami of 2004 (he devotes the entire first chapter to the Tsunami).  The second chapter is an historical survey of religious interpretations of natural disasters.  He also devotes attention in that chapter to the narrative of the flood story in Genesis and some time to the book of Job.  The remainder of the book consists of snippets from his interviews and his conclusions.

From the introduction, Stern writes, “What I have concluded myself is that this book offers a tremendous amount of wisdom from many of the top religious minds in the United States.  I appreciate their willingness to tell me what they believe, what they cannot believe, and what they can never know” (p.10).  Some of those interviews across the religious spectrum include names such as Harold Kushner, Tony Campolo, Dr. James Kone, Dr. Sayyid Syeed, Imam Yahya Hendi, Dr. Arvind Sharma, David Silverman and many others (43 total).  As the past week is a testament to, there are any number of religious and non-religious interpretations of natural disasters.  Stern’s study is a fair and wide-ranging survey of the cacophony of voices that may accompany the occurrences of such events.

Sabbath and Silence

It is difficult to convey silence when writing…

Is the the ellipsis appropriate for denoting a moment, minute, or longer of silence? Perhaps a blank page? To be sure, the writer has no control over how long or short the reader may spend in silence. The matter is quite different when we, the writer, read our own words. The well placed pause in a speech, lecture or homily can be all the difference in making an emphatic point or allowing a poignant phrase the time to sink in. Not only does silence struggle to find its voice in the multivalent world of literature – – so too, it does in the broader context of our daily lives. Take a “moment” now, close your eyes and sit in silence…

Was it the length of the silence that was difficult or the thoughts that came racing into your mind? Perhaps both. Why is it that silence scares us? Now, I am generalizing I realize, there are in fact many people that do enjoy silence on occasion. My contention is that our society as a whole does not foster time for silence, and given that is the state of our contemporary climate, it is not conducive to sabbath. First, let us begin with silence.

What is silence? Is it the absence of noise? The presence of calm? Perhaps a combination of the two? Or, is it something else? Is it optical? Or, is it purely aural? What of the other senses? Does silence have a smell, a taste, a touch? Is it a reduction of sensory nerve and brain waves? If we turn to the consensus definition we will find:silence – noun 1. absence of any sound or noise; stillness. It seems as though silence is some amalgamation of lack of motion and lack of sound. It is primarily aural, but there an element of motionlessness. In our post-Enlightenment age, the scientific nature of our society makes silence highly subjective. Is there really ever a moment of absence of any sound or noise; stillness? Even if one were to find the most remote field, cut off from all modern amenities – – completely isolated, would there be silence? No. Of course not, it is impossible, because we know that molecules are always in motion, always bumping into each other, creating friction, motion, and hence noise happens. The earth itself is perpetually in motion, so how can there ever be stillness? I could go on, but you understand my point. Silence, in fact, is subjective; it is subject to the presence of the beholder. Perhaps, then, it is better to consider silence in terms of varying degrees rather than absolutes; it is more silent than it was before, etc.

In search of silence, this highly subjective, exceedingly elusive, seemingly unattainable state, I headed to those that foster silence as a part of daily life – – the Benedictine monks of St. John’s Abbey. From about 10.30 pm to 7 am, the monks observe silence. What better place than here to examine and experience the state of silence?

After rising at 4 am to make the short drive to Collegeville, MN, I arrived at the Abbey Church, and at a quarter to 7, a monk greeted me in the back of the church and directed me to the front where the monks were assembling for morning prayer. Morning prayer opened with a hymn, Frank Von Christerson’s Eternal Spirit of the Living Christ. Indeed, a fitting hymn to start a day of prayer and reflection. There was a scripture reading and then silence…my mind started to wander, and more silence, “what were we waiting for?!”; two whole minutes of silence! We broke the silence by reciting some psalms. The monks were divided into two sections, and we read the psalms in an alternating manner. Simple enough, however, after the first two lines I was uneasy. There was a long pause between each line. I was afraid of coming in at the wrong time, what were we waiting for? The words were right there just read them! And then I realized, that the pause, and silence between each line was deliberate. There was a rhythm to the reading. My uneasiness gave way to a profound calmness. All the tiredness, busy-ness and stress that I had brought with me somehow melted away as my focus was captivated by the words of the psalms. We were reading the psalms, but what is more, I was hearing them as well. The deliberate pauses gave me time to reflect on the words at hand, they not only washed over me, but soaked into me, I absorbed them, and they were real.

After the morning prayer, we then participated in two sessions of lectio divina, something that I was aware of but had never actually participated in formally. The group sessions reinforced my understanding of the value of the audible word. When we hear words spoken aloud by the other, we pick up on things we might not have in silent reading by oneself. The same is true of reading aloud by oneself. Between the sessions we were encouraged to explore the monastic grounds and seek a place of solitude for about an hour for quiet prayer, reading and reflection. Middday prayer was followed by lunch, then another session of lectio divina and finally a time for group reflection on the day’s events.

The group session percolated my attention to the role of silence in society. The learned monk with gray thinning hair, silver rimmed glasses, in his dark frock, leading the session, asked us if we found the length of time provided for silent reading, prayer and reflection adequate, or too long. The present group was anomalous to many of his past groups as we found it to be sufficient, if not too short. Surprised, the monk proceeded to inform us of the inability of past groups to deal with the time to sit in silent reflection, it was too long for them. Tangentially related, he told us a story about serving in another monastery in the south. He drove past a billboard for a wireless provider that simply stated, “Silence is weird.” The advert puzzled the monk, if not angered him. I left feeling as though I was in a minority of sorts given my affinity for silence and solitude. Why is it that silence is weird?

My time at the Abbey among the monks, led me to consider the relationship between silence and time, and hence sabbath. There are a plethora of books by contemporary authors seeking to define Sabbath or recapture the meaning or role of it. One thinks of Wayne Muller, Richard Foster, Abraham Heschel, etc. But in lieu of considering any of those works, I offer the words of Walter Brueggemann, from a recent forum during the winter of 2009. He stated, “What I want to say about the sabbath, is in our society, I think it is to disengage from the production/consumption ideology so that our children see that our lives are not defined by being productive or consumptive. And for me, the key icon for that disengagement is to turn off the television, which is essentially a liturgy of consumption… Sabbath is the kind of idleness that makes possible the recovery of the nefesh that is depleted. People with depleted nefeshes stay angry and anxious and self-preoccupied and ungenerous. My conclusion is you cannot finally sustain a society that does not practice sabbath. And we now live in that society and it cannot be sustained.” Brueggemann, referring to an article by Mark Slouka, “Quitting the Paint Factory,” summarized, “the article says, if you do not take time for thoughtful critical reflection, which I would translate into sabbath, you become a fascist. He says, our society is incapable of thoughtful critical reflection.” Does the inability of thoughtful critical reflection lead to fascism?

Perhaps that question is best addressed elsewhere, but Slouka’s article is highly commended. Not only does he navigate the nature of societal business with erudite effectiveness, I believe that he has grasped the root of many of the problems people and the world face today. Slouka’s prime example of what happens to people that fail to take time for critical self-reflection is George W. Bush. In short, he describes him in the same vein as Filippo Marinetti’s “New Man,” “impatient, almost pathologically unreflective, unburdened by the past.” Certainly Slouka’s example is not representative of all cases, but rather one alarming example of what perpetual business is capable of producing in society. So how then does lack of critical reflection relate to silence and sabbath?

For me, I see the relationship between silence and sabbath as mutually reciprocal. Each is capable of leading to the other, though neither one is essential for the other necessarily. In the same way, silence and self-reflection are related. As the monk at St. John’s told me, “silence makes you self aware, you have to stop and realize you are alive.” The monk also said he wished he could take out a tv ad with a black screen that simply said, “a moment of silence,” compliments of St. Leo Abbey. It seems as though many people would not be able to sit through a full 30 seconds of silence in a day, let alone 60. Such a notion is counter intuitive to the modus operandi of society at large. Time, silence, reflection and sabbath are interrelated and necessary for healthy living and self-awareness. Indeed, when we take the time for sabbath, silence, or both, we allow the silence to have its say.

Robert C. Byrd Green Bank Telescope (GBT)

Not all telescopes are for looking through. Just spend some time at the NRAO’s Greenbank facility located in Greenbank, WV, and this will become readily apparent soon enough. Isolated in a 13,000 square mile National Radio Quiet Zone, the Greenbank facility is pleasantly remote, and home to the world’s largest movable radio telescope (about 480+ ft high and weighing in at over 17 million pounds!). It took around 10 years to construct the mammoth scope which was completed in August of 2000. Visitors are afforded a free guided tour of the facility by knowledgeable staff members. So what do radio telescopes “see?” For responses to that question I will have to refer you to the NRAO’s site for a proper explanation. All that I can relate is that the ‘scopes are used to collect data from radio waves emitted from stars in space that then can be analyzed. And pulsars, something about pulsars, these are used for studying pulsars.

I cannot help but relate my experience here to that of Job’s during the so-called divine speeches found in the last few chapters of book of Job. Just as I believe that the book of Job functions as a de-centering text (de-centering humans from arrogant anthropocentricity); so too is the humbling experience of inter-galactic study. For many of us, the earth is our center of existence, we seldom ponder that which exists outside of our “world.” But, when we take the time to consider with Galileo, Duke, and others, that which is beyond us, we are small, minutiae in the grand portrait of what we attempt to capture in the term, “universe.” Indeed, God’s questions to Job are truly in the vein of astronomy, physics, and the like:

Can you tie the chains of the Pleiades or loose the straps of Orion?
Can you take out the constellations each in its time, and can you console Ayish for her children? Do you know the ordinances of heaven; can you place his dominion upon the earth?
Job 38.31-33 (TNK)

We are not at the center, and the insatiable quest to know more about our place in this vast universe has been on the mind of all that ponder the stars for millennia. It is precisely in the moments which one spends gazing at the stars, experiencing an eclipse, or listening to the blip of a pulsar that we become more attuned to our infinite universe, and at that same moment, our infinite God.

Psalm 23 – A New Translation

[A psalm of David]

God as Shepherd (vv.1-4)

Yhwh is my shepherd; I do not lack

He causes me to lie down in grassy pastures.

By restful waters he guides me

He restores my life

He guides me in right tracks

For his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest canyon,

I do not fear disaster.

Because you are with me; your rod and your staff –

They comfort me.

God as Shepherd/Host (vv. 5-6)

    You set out before me a table

    In the face of my enemies

    You moisten/bathe my head with oil,

    My cup amply satisfies.

    Certainly goodness and covenant-faithfulness

    Shall pursue me all the days of my life

    And I shall return to dwell

In the house of Yhwh for length of days.

This is a working translation from a recent study of mine on Psalm 23.  Feel free to leave comments or questions.  I should note, there are influences from translations by John Goldingay and Robert Alter.

See:

Alter, Robert. The Book of Psalms: a Translation with Commentary. New York, W.W. Norton Company, 2007: pp. 78-79.

Goldingay, John. Psalms Volume 1: Psalms 1-41. Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms. Ed. Tremper Longman III., Grand Rapids, MI, Baker Academic, 2006: pp. 344ff.

Book of the Week

This week I commend Raymond P. Scheindlin‘s The Book of Job to all those interested in studies on this portion of scripture.  This book is a translation and introduction with notes to the biblical book of Job.  Scheindlin provides a lengthy but helpful introduction to the story in just under fifty pages.  The layout of the story is easy to follow and one does not get bogged down in verse numbers or notes as when reading from a study bible etc.  This is helpful in that it allows one to consider the text for some time without immediately being drawn to the translator’s comments.  With regards to notes, there are about sixty pages worth at the end of the translation.  Whether one agrees with Scheindlin’s translation or notes in every matter is another issue, but the book is recommended, especially to those looking for an unhindered reading of the text in one sitting.

Let The Silence Have its Say

Lake Sagatagon

Lake Sagatagon with St. John's Abbey Church in the distance. - Collegeville, MN

These things I thought throughout the day,

The day I came here but to pray;

To sit in quiet stirs the mind,

But let the silence have its say…

To be alone makes self-aware,

And gives my life its consciousness.

Justin Ridley

23 October 2009

Saint John’s Abbey

Collegeville, MN