One area that has changed over the past 4 1/2 years for me is my view of mental health — mainly, that I now hold a view. As a strong advocate of mental health awareness and treatment I will write about it frequently here.
What I would like to share today is something that was born out of my own experience in a mental health care setting. I have worked with a number of psychologists, counselors and therapists over the course of the past five years — both good and bad. Recently, I was presented with an opportunity to reflect on my personal values in a session. An easy task you might say, however, it proved to be anything but. It proved difficult for me in a number of ways. First, I don’t believe that I had ever consciously sat down to think about what my values are. Sure, we all have values, maybe we can name a few off the top of our head — family, friends, justice, etc. But, what if you had to name your top 10? It sounds easy enough. Now, imagine your friend or therapist hands you a stack of 50-75 cards with one value on each and asks you to sort them into three columns in order of importance to you.
Here is a sample list of common personal values (this is not the same list that I was given):
Accomplishment, SuccessAccountabilityAccuracy
Adventure All for one & one for all Beauty Calm, quietude, peace Challenge Change Charity Cleanliness, orderliness Collaboration Commitment Communication Community Competence Competition Concern for others Connection Content over form Continuous improvement Cooperation Coordination Creativity Customer satisfaction Decisiveness Determination Delight of being, joy Democracy Discipline Discovery Diversity Dynamism Ease of Use Efficiency Enjoyment Equality Excellence Fairness Faith Faithfulness Family Family feeling Flair Freedom, Liberty |
FriendshipFunGenerosity
Gentleness Global view Goodwill Goodness Gratitude Hard work Happiness Harmony Health Honor Human-centered Improvement Independence Individuality Inner peace, calm, quietude Innovation Integrity Intelligence Intensity Justice Kindness Knowledge Leadership Love, Romance Loyalty Maximum utilization (of time, resources) Meaning Merit Money Oneness Openness Other’s point of view, inputs Patriotism Peace, Non-violence Perfection Personal Growth Perseverance Pleasure Power Practicality Preservation |
PrivacyProgressProsperity, Wealth
Punctuality Quality of work Regularity Reliability Resourcefulness Respect for others Responsiveness Results-oriented Rule of Law Safety Satisfying others Security Self-givingness Self-reliance Self-thinking Sensitivity Service (to others, society) Simplicity Skill Solving Problems Speed Spirit, Spirituality in life Stability Standardization Status Strength Succeed; A will to- Success, Achievement Systemization Teamwork Timeliness Tolerance Tradition Tranquility Trust Truth Unity Variety Well-being Wisdom |
From there, you are asked to order each column top-to-bottom in order of importance. Now, remove one column altogether. Next, remove one more column. With your last column, arrange your remaining values in order of importance. You may pull some values from your discard pile if you have changed your mind. Finally, reduce your column to 10 and now you should have your top 10 values. After about 20 minutes, I had narrowed my own list to 10. Here is my result:
My Top 10 Personal Values:
1. Purpose
2. Passion
3. Family
4. Spirituality
5. Ecology
6. Justice
7. Hope
8. Compassion
9. Humility
10. Genuineness
Of course these values are not static but dynamic for me. Most likely these will remain in my top 10, but they may shift their order from time to time. I keep the list, as written by my therapist, on a sheet of notebook paper. I review it several times a week. In the review process, I am reflecting on the ways in which I held to my values, the times I may have strayed, and the times I felt conflicted in terms of my values. This weekly reflection has helped to keep me grounded in my values, but also helped me to learn a great deal about myself and my interactions with others and the world around me. I am better able to discern how my values influence my day-to-day activities, but I also can see where I need to improve my adherence to them. In the conscious reflection upon my values I am able to make them more fully my own — it is a practice I will continue the rest of my life.
What are your top 10 values? What is your value of the week? What is your value of the day?